Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

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Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby Xanth » Wed Mar 27, 2013 9:34 pm

A few years back, I was driving home from somewhere when, all of a sudden, I got cut off while passing through an intersection. I was just about ready to let loose with a few curse words and just generally boiling mad, when I realized something. I’ve done this same thing to other people by accident… I have no idea what the other person was thinking or doing when they cut me off. At that point, I realized that I simply can’t get mad at someone for doing something that I, too, have done in the past. How can I? Wouldn’t that be hypocritical of me?

This is why I (mostly lol) don’t get mad or angry at people anymore for doing something that I would have once called them “stupid” or “an idiot” for, because at one point or another I was probably doing the exact same thing.

So what do I do instead? I take the advice of a wonderful Spiritual Teacher named Adyashanti. If you’ve read my posts lately, you’ve definitely heard or seen him.
The advice is to simply allow everything to be as it is. In this instance, it means to simply accept that what’s done is done. Regardless of the intent of the individual who cuts you off, it’s done, just accept it and move on. No amount of you getting angry is going to change what happened, nor is you getting angry going to make the other driver not do it again.

Eventually, you’ll actually be able to observe the biological processes happening AS they happen. I had an instance, and Adya recalls something similar in one of his videos, where I had something like this happen to me again, except someone almost drove into my car, and as it was happening I was able to observe what was occurring in my body. The biological events that were occurring within me, but since I wasn’t reacting to them, they kind of surged for a minute, then dissipated slowly.

It’s all about recognizing patterns in your life and then allowing them to be as they are. You can apply this to ANYTHING. Everything from the people around you to the simple daily activities we do. Whenever you pin point something as a trigger for you to get angry, ask yourself why you’re getting angry, then try to just accept it. This allows you to let go of the anger.

Something else I realized is that being a Spiritual person doesn’t mean you don’t get angry, frustrated, upset, etc…
It means you don’t hold onto the anger, the frustration, etc… you’re able to experience it, then immediately let it go. Quite often I’ll get frustrated at something where I’ll seemingly get really upset, then the next second I’m happy as ever again. It’s not that I’m bi-polar, although sometimes it could really seem that way (LoL), but it’s because I’m able to let go of things that upset me.

Anyway, back to the point of this article… if something someone does gets you angry, try to look back into your past actions and see if you’ve done the same thing before. You can hardly get angry at someone for doing something that you, yourself have done at some point. Instead of allowing your emotions to control you in this situation, why not tell the individual about what happened to you when YOU made the same mistake. That way, two people can learn from one persons mistake! Isn’t that a much better use of your energy instead of getting mad and calling someone stupid?

This kind of action moves you closer to becoming Love, which is, in my opinion, the goal of experiencing this physical reality in the first place. You’ll also find that as you become closer to Love, that things like Meditation and Astral Projection come, not only easier, but happen more often and spontaneously as well!

http://www.unlimitedboundaries.ca/2013/ ... at-people/
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Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby Jack Reacher » Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:21 pm

You are absolutely right, people low down in the social class should just accept that their life is a downward spiriling pattern and just learn to become love and live with it with a smile on their face.
A particle physicist is a collection of atoms that have gotten together to observe themselves.
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby Bedeekin » Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:29 pm

I have never turned on somebody or told them I wish they died.

I did find out at an early age that anger seemed to cause a strange reaction in people.

I never saw it when others were being shitty or nasty or angry... when others got angry I saw people shrink and hide from them... I saw others seem to acknowledge that anger and react in a way that seemed beneficial to the one being angry, nasty and malicious. I see it at work... I see it everywhere. People seem to get what they want when they are being angry.

However when I got angry, pushy or tried to be malicious to get the same reaction... to watch people fawn and pander to it... it always backfired on me. People wouldn't run. People wouldn't shrink away or pander to my outburst. They would just say 'Shut up Ben... calm down.. you are making a dick of yourself'. :lol:

So I found from an early age that I couldn't get angry without making a dick of myself and looking like a complete twonk. Also.. I hate seeing anger in other people. I hate seeing outright nastiness. Most of all.. what makes me feel angry is seeing outright nastyness and anger being allowed to happen while people sit and take it.
Last edited by Bedeekin on Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby Xanth » Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:42 pm

Jack Reacher wrote:You are absolutely right, people low down in the social class should just accept that their life is a downward spiriling pattern and just learn to become love and live with it with a smile on their face.

That's a tad too literal and too physical. :-)

I'm mostly referring to emotional outbursts. I know bedeekin knows exactly what I'm talking about. :-)

I'm not saying don't try to better your circumstances either (which is, I think, what you're referring to), but if you have to hurt someone else in order to "gain" that betterment, then what's the point? You're then no better than the guy trying to keep you down.
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby Xanth » Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:45 pm

Bedeekin wrote:I have never turned on somebody or told them I wish they died.

I did find out at an early age that anger seemed to cause a strange reaction in people.

I never saw it when others were being shitty or nasty or angry... when others got angry I saw people shrink and hide from them... I saw others seem to acknowledge that anger and react in a way that seemed beneficial to the one being angry, nasty and malicious. I see it at work... I see it everywhere. People seem to get what they want when they are being angry.

However when I got angry, pushy or tried to be malicious to get the same reaction... to watch people fawn and pander to it... it always backfired on me. People wouldn't run. People wouldn't shrink away or pander to my outburst. They would just say 'Shut up Ben... calm down.. you are making a dick of yourself'.

So I found from an early age that I couldn't get angry without making a dick of myself and looking like a complete twonk. Also.. I hate seeing anger in other people. I hate seeing outright nastiness. Most of all.. what makes me feel angry is seeing outright nastyness and anger being allowed to happen while people sit and take it.

You definitely learned this lesson from a young age. I'm jealous. I was a disk for much longer. Sometimes I still am! LOL. Although I try think about what I say before I say it nowadays.

The problem with anger is that... Anger breeds more anger. It's a downward spiral that doesn't help anyone.
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby Bedeekin » Wed Mar 27, 2013 11:00 pm

It's ridiculous.

There is a guy at work who has anger issues. He can blow up at the drop of a hat. Most of the time it's to do with something he has done wrong... so he blames others. I can tell he knows this... which then seems to contribute to his anger more. He can seem very intimidating to some people. haha.. he is even depicted on one of those 'Police Camera Action' programmes on TV, being stopped by the police because he is waving a replica samurai sword at someone who nearly cut him up. One frustrating thing is that people don't know how to handle him at work so they tend to wind him up when he gets angry... leading to him throwing a hammer across the room.

He is the type of person who if they slipped on something and accidentally cut you with a pair of scissors he would get angry at YOU for being in the way.. genuinely. I have joked with him that he would get so angry he would probably finish off the job and kill the person out of anger... then get angry at himself for doing that and go on a rampage. He has the spirit of King Kong. He's also a BIG man.

What is the most perplexing thing is that he has an absolute heart of gold. He will do anything for you and I absolutely adore him. He would be the first person I would employ on a job and I would get him to run the workshop. I know people would listen.

He got mad at me once for burping between a pause in a story he was once telling the group one lunch time. I made him lose the thread so he embedded a fork into the sofa arm I was sitting against. I didn't flinch... I just looked at him and raised my eyebrows.

The lesson of that day...

Let Gary tell his story... and just don't rise to his level.
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby Bedeekin » Wed Mar 27, 2013 11:06 pm

I agree on both accounts Lionheart. ;)

I got angry today and all it led to was disappointment on my part. I ran an experiment in PMR and it resulted in exactly how I thought it would have had I actually thought before I acted. :D

The only good outcome is that I didn't go as far as most people would.
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby Jack Reacher » Wed Mar 27, 2013 11:08 pm

Xanth wrote:
Jack Reacher wrote:You are absolutely right, people low down in the social class should just accept that their life is a downward spiriling pattern and just learn to become love and live with it with a smile on their face.

That's a tad too literal and too physical. :-)

I'm mostly referring to emotional outbursts. I know bedeekin knows exactly what I'm talking about. :-)

I'm not saying don't try to better your circumstances either (which is, I think, what you're referring to), but if you have to hurt someone else in order to "gain" that betterment, then what's the point? You're then no better than the guy trying to keep you down.


Well if you want to improve your situation... then thats the point.
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby astralzombie » Wed Mar 27, 2013 11:38 pm

Anger issues are closely related to having a low self esteem. I actually think they value themselves less than a person who never speaks up for themselves and just takes a load of crap from everyone.

I can throw a temper tantrum as good as anyone but it's happening less and less these days. For me, getting angry is a lot like getting scared during a SP episode. I'm caught off guard so there's little chance of the emotion not kicking in but I can quash it ASAP.

Not to mention, that I feel embarrassed afterwards.
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby ChopstickFox » Thu Mar 28, 2013 2:56 am

Sometimes I get a bit angry at stupid things. I know I'm being ridiculous, but sometimes I just feel like venting my frustration. I tell my hubby "I get one day a month to be bitchy and emotional so I'm damn well gonna take advantage of it!" He knows I'm not being serious... But sometimes a girl's gotta vent.

I do feel like a fool. :) And I know I'm unreasonable. But it happens, haha!
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby Szaxx » Thu Mar 28, 2013 4:36 am

The feisty fox lol.
Anger I have hardly had, stupid things from stupid people basically. It works too.
I do on occasion say things I can't quite remember and Im hated for it. Can't seem to work it out either, Meh they asked for it. :twisted:
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby astralzombie » Thu Mar 28, 2013 5:46 am

He knows I'm not being serious


That's right. Of course he does. All men know this. Now is there anything we can do for you?...nice cup of hot tea perhaps?..or maybe you would like some alone time...what's that you say?..you just want to talk?...sure, that sounds wonderful...oh, what's that on the tv?

[Husband to self] QUICKLY NOW...shes' distracted, RUN!!

I know this wasn't funny, but it was a riot in my head. :P
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby LightBeam » Thu Mar 28, 2013 10:08 pm

I have adopted this philosophy a long time ago and understand the different stages of development. However, in some occasions like the following example, I turn into a ruthless "monster" lol
So, the other day I was driving back from work and I noticed one of the cars ahead of me weaving across lanes, almost hitting few cars, luckily the other drivers were paying attention. I stayed behind to keep an eye and that woman was clearly under the influence and have knowingly gotten behind the wheel. People like her cause devastating accidents that injure or take lives of innocent people. At that moment, I just wanted to pull her over, take her out of the car and beat the crap out of her lol. I have never made that mistake........ well at least not in this life.
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby Xanth » Thu Mar 28, 2013 10:22 pm

LightBeam wrote:I have adopted this philosophy a long time ago and understand the different stages of development. However, in some occasions like the following example, I turn into a ruthless "monster" lol
So, the other day I was driving back from work and I noticed one of the cars ahead of me weaving across lanes, almost hitting few cars, luckily the other drivers were paying attention. I stayed behind to keep an eye and that woman was clearly under the influence and have knowingly gotten behind the wheel. People like her cause devastating accidents that injure or take lives of innocent people. At that moment, I just wanted to pull her over, take her out of the car and beat the crap out of her lol. I have never made that mistake........ well at least not in this life.

LOL I know exactly how you feel. I've seen this before as well... I actually saw someone grind into a concrete wall on a highway doing this. It was scary, to say the least.

I didn't have a cell phone at that point, but I would have called the police had I had one on me. I highly suggest the next time you see such actions, to please call the police too. :)
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby Xanth » Thu Mar 28, 2013 10:50 pm

Wow dude! That's awesome. :)
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby astralzombie » Thu Mar 28, 2013 11:12 pm

Lion- That's what I call taking action. I take it that this occurred before the days in which everyone and their cockroaches had two cell phones?

I don't see how anybody can get away with any crime in public nowadays. I know a few people who have their local sheriff deputy on speed dial, ready for any occasion. Be it to report a non-emergency crime being committed or lying about one to be a prick.

A buddy of mine,Danny, nearly lost his career, his home, and his family over a busy-body. His little boy (around 6 or so) was throwing a fit in wal-mart because he couldn't have a candy so Danny swatted him a couple of times on the butt. I wasn't there to see this but I have seen him spank his kids in private and believe me, the force used is only capable of hurting the kids ego. This of course angered his son, since he "knows his rights" and hollered even more. Naturally, this caught the eye of a public crusader. The incident was over and they continued shopping. Danny let his son walk straight down the the same isle he was on, to look at some toys. The crusader seized his moment and asked Danny' son if he was alright? He explained that what his daddy did was unacceptable and he could make sure this wouldn't happen again if he (the boy) wanted him (crusader) to help.

This sounded great to a pist off kid who had just been embarrassed in public. He said yes and the crusader called the police and the ensuing investigation nearly destroyed their lives. I'm not saying that we should "mind our own business" when it comes to reporting a crime, in fact, I'm not saying that at all especially when it concerns the welfare of a child. If you see something that you truly believe is abuse then do the right thing and report it. Certainly don't ask the kid what he wants either. This whole ordeal left a bad taste in my mouth to say the least.
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby ChopstickFox » Thu Mar 28, 2013 11:56 pm

Lionheart- That's good so long as the dude didn't get hit wandering around in the road for his keys, haha! xD Power to you, I'd never have the balls.

Astralzombie- Is it sad that exactly right there is part of what deters me from becoming a teacher? Even just rumors and lies alone. I'm sure when most of us were kids we'd get beat by our parents. NOT abused. Just smacked or spanked so we'd get the message. Once a mother of someone my age was telling me about how they feel divided from their child because of it. No, I don't think scolding your child when their young will make them forever bitter to you. I love and respect my mom and I'm thankful for her putting me into place when she did. It's like adults are afraid of children these days. And really, those investigations ruin lives.

Yet there's people that still get away with sick shit out there. Horrible.
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby astralzombie » Fri Mar 29, 2013 11:01 am

NO! Chops, you would make a great teacher and the kids would love you and be all the better for it. Stupid people are everywhere and we can't let the senseless things that they might do stop us from living.

I hope you reconsider being a teacher. So long as you don't mind being broke and penniless, you'll love it. :P
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby ChopstickFox » Fri Mar 29, 2013 6:53 pm

Well, it wouldn't be the most masochistic job I've ever had... The things I do for kids...
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Re: Spirituality – Why I Can’t Get Mad At People

Postby Majic » Sat Mar 30, 2013 1:42 am

I still get mad at times and it does not bother me when I give someone a rev up. Good to be human and I dont think suppresion is always the best answer.
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